not getting where i'm going

i don't know where i'm going in life.
all i want is to be at berklee next year.
i want to magically know all the theory i need to know, and have the grades and money to get there, but i can't.
when i saw they have a summer program i freaked out. it's five weeks, but it's thousands of dollars. so i let that go.
then i saw that they have smaller summer programs. one for songwriting and one for vocalists.
i'd go to either. i would so love to go to either. but they each alone add up to like a thousand dollars. and that's impossible. i called my mom just to tell her about them, not even expecting to go and she was a total b about it. whatever.
so, i will go to hcc for a year or two.
but i'm scared about what i'm going to do after that.
i don't want to be stuck here. i want to sing and write my music. and act. i dont know. everything kind of sucks, because i don;t know what i'm working towards, and how im going to get there.