nothing exciting has been happening.
midterms are over.
this weekend i have rehearsal and whatnot.
a week from today is the concert!
woooohoo.
i love the show my life as liz.
my friends hate it, whatevs.

hungry.

a list.

it's a movie. it's a tv show. it's in facebook notes.
after seeing the bucket list and my buried life people are going ambition list crazy.

i watched a walk to remember in 6th grade i think.
there was a list.
i want a list.
i think i need a list.

in no particular order... yet.

-perform on Broadway
-name my child Lela (if i ever have a child)
-get my liscence(i know i should already have it)
-get into a really really good college in boston or new york after hcc for music
-become AMAZING at guitar
-sing songs a wrote on a stage in front of people who appreciate good music
-meet gaga
-do something that helps a cause greater than i can imagine
-be remembered
-help with a cure to alzheimers
-meet someone who means something
-get a tattoo
-give blood(again)
-live in the city
-get a puppy
-meet my biological father's sister and mother
-meet my father and his family
-write music that helps other people
-lead an extraordinary life

can i stay here with you til the morning?

i constantly back track.
like.
i have this habit of distracting myself from reality, or harsh feelings by creating new situations to put myself into. new interests.
however, say i just got a new interest, a pretend one, to distract myself from feeling like a fucktard because i let myself get played by a friend, who clearly wasn't the person i thought he was and then along comes some new information to through me right back into thinking about buttboy who makes me feel like a joke. this whole blog is a big babble vent out. so, if you have any interest in reading something other than my large moment of being self absorbed, click away. anyway. i forgive, and trust so easily. i let people in even when i know i shouldn't. basically, im not very smart about relationships, of any kind. so, tonight, im with some of my best friends, and of course i'm thinking about how i am able to be so freaking stupid.


yeah, but now that i got it out, i'm over it.

ya heard.

new song, check it out on my facebook, it's been up for about a week.

nothing's new.
and at the same time, a whole lot is.

arttm

a rocket to the moon.
one of my absolute favorite bands, as of the 'jingle my bells' festival i went to last month. seriously. fantastic. and in less than a month, i'm seeing them again. like seriously. they aren't the most well known band yet, and i am in love with their music. good stuff. good lyrics. check it out.

a lot's new, and at the same time nothing's changed. we'll see how the next three weeks go in school, because after that my period 2 internship is over and let's hope with that all of the anxiety i get because being there makes me want to throw things will subside.
i'm completely exaggerating, whatevs yo.

you're like bjork with better fashion sense.

things are good, i can not wait until our show this weekend.

that's it.

focusing on boys= so stupid.

im getting tired.

im getting tired.
physically, emotionally.
ya know.

tonight at acting i realized something.
how am i supposed to affect someone on stage, if i haven't ever been able to affect someone in real life?

i don't mean romantically, which is the obvious meaning, i mean in every way.

and honestly.
when it comes to the whole romantic side of my life.
there is none.
and i don't need anyone who doesnt want to be there.

i'm a lot stronger than i used to be.